Five Songs To Serenade Your Love To
14th February 2016, 14:00
Posted by Tristan

With added Metal!

As now doubt many high street chains have made you aware Valentine’s Day is once again here for another year. We thought that instead of opting to go the usual route of chocolates and flowers why not serenade your true love with five songs that say just how you really feel…

The Black Dahlia Murder – Refaced :

Coming off the band’s storming Abysmal this beautiful tale reminds us that sometimes we want to try and be someone else. Longing for another persons life be it their ambitions or perhaps their way of thinking, you should always be comfortable with your own self and your loved ones should accept you for who you are. Even if you are paedophile who cuts people’s faces off to pretend to be them…

Bloodbath – Anne : 

When enjoying each other’s company make sure to do as much together as possible. Taking long walks is often a fantastic way to relieve the stress of daily life. If you do both happen to share a deep dark secret that you keep from anyone else whilst on said long wistful walk then no doubt you should feel able to tell your loved one. If you’re lucky you might even spot a local and it might just be the gateway to going around bashing people called Anne’s heads in with rocks remember your loved one will embrace your imperfections!

Carach Angren : The Carriage Wheel Murder

If you want to spice up your love life then often some partners like to open up their relationship. Exploring different people and different sensations can often bring lovers closer together. Just make sure that you’re both ok with it, you wouldn’t want one of you burning the other alive and then coming back to haunt the other and kill him in a carriage wheel murder, we’ve all been there…

Lamb of God – Overlord 

Heading home after that perfect dinner? Why not take a different route home? It’s proven that taking a different way to get back to your home can bring a more enjoyable atmosphere to any relationship. If things do take a turn for the worse and an argument ensues just remember you can always argue in the middle of the road until a car hits you and you both die.

Pig Destroyer – Piss Angel 

A name can say a lot about a particular person, ensure that the person that you decide to spend this wonderous day with has a beautiful name that you would cherish to hear for years. Remember a name doesn’t make a person it’s their personality that truly counts!

Do however watch out for Jennifer if she seems to be acting slightly out of the ordinary. These signs could include :

  •  If your date wrestles a girl and begins licking her eyeballs, whilst a crowd gathers.
  • Your date stands over the girl after mutilating her with scraped and bloodied elbows.
  • Exposing her intimate areas and absorbing the mutilated girl completely until she has disappeared.
  • And who could forget the head tilt whilst thinking of people dying on a roller coaster. But hey on this day, there’s room for some experimentation!

Happy Valentines Day from us two at The Metalist!